

So why would men hesitate to tie the knot? Logically, then, men should be the ones pursuing marriage: they seem to view it as desirable, and they are more likely than women to gain major benefits from it. Some recent surveys, however, suggest this difference may have lessened or even flipped, although we still find men a bit more likely than women to endorse the importance of marriage in our lab’s national sample of unmarried individuals. Moreover, according to several surveys dating to around a decade ago, men are more likely than women to say that it’s better to get married than to go through life single, and among the unmarried, men are more likely than women to report that they would prefer to be married. And men can reap such benefits even from mediocre marriages, while for women, the benefits of marriage are more strongly linked to marital quality. In addition to being happier and healthier than bachelors, married men earn more money and live longer. Both men and women benefit from marriage, but men seem to benefit more overall.

The fact that men are legendarily wary of marriage is stranger than it first appears. And that’s certainly in line with contemporary cultural stereotypes. I suspect that, in about two-thirds of these cases, the partner seeking more commitment is the woman while the man drags his feet.

In many romantic relationships, one partner desires a higher level of commitment-engagement or marriage-while the other is content to let the relationship stay in its current form.
